perhaps

his punishment,
banish to eternity,
wasps and hornets that repeatedly stung him,
maggots and larvae consume his blood and tears

which transports me, perhaps, back to her,
if all these gaps, and cracks, and pits and holes
are all about a darkness,
they would also be inconceivable without her

that there was barely time to change directions, implies,
that when a virgin came to him he was on the threshold of committing suicide
or an ethical death,
at the point he was under attack by a jackal, a leper, and a she-wolf

he had a crash,
started psychoanalysis,
i wouldn't have survived otherwise,
i may be laughing now
but the fact was there was nothing
to laugh about at the time,
i was on China white, method, coke,
and i suddenly realised i was bloody addicted to
the stuff, it took me a second to quit when she conceived,
when it was over, i knew it was over absolutely for me

a prozac nation, masturbating at the alter of materialism,
as if coolness can be bought

she knows these words are about her,
no amount of money, charm or material power
can give you the forgiveness which you seek