perfume haze

I awoke in a perfume haze which
exacerbated an intense period of instability and
decadence that provokes me to destroy
everything that she'd ever meant to me

This feeling is fleeting
and quickly resolves itself
in a cup of cappuccino
and like magic
it all fades away

The realization that she isn’t to blame for this,
she is not in control of herself,
someone else is doing that for her

Even now she has difficulties with her moods,
She's been depressed for months pondering her life,
the “friends thing”,
she tells me, again and again

She‘d talk on and on about this

“Come next week I might come crashing
down again. I just noticed that as I get older I
become a real victim of my friends, which I just
hate, I really hate. It's enough that I try to
plan around it”

She’s delusional,
she likes to think that they are
but they are not coming to rescue her

There are a lot of people out
there, who publicly wish that she would just shut up
about her friends such as past lovers

She deals in “women's issues” that makes her stories “victimy”
and therefore beyond the reach of criticism

She can touch the lives of others and provoke conflict and clashes but the
general tenor is they think she should “Grow Up”

Her words, thoughts and beliefs
have incredible power,
and they create the life she lives,
they colour her point of view
and what she attracts into her life

The universe is truly generous and unbounded,
but only she can open the door for it to come into her life

She is deciding what is really true for her - whatever she decides
and believes to be true will surely be her experience

This annoys her because all that happened quite
sometime ago and she's 45 now?